Domestic Violence

For many victims, it's difficult to recognize when a pattern of abuse has developed in their relationship. Instead, they often see abusive behaviors as isolated, unrelated incidents. Yet, abuse often happens in cycles, with abusive episodes interspersed with periods of calm, loving support, and affirmation - nurturing and caring that initially drew the two partners together. However, the abusive pattern that develops can often become predictable and a source of tension, even during periods of calm.

The cycle of abuse may be described as:

• Tension may arise within a relationship. It may be the result of a minor disagreement.
• Tension continues to build over a period of hours, or days or perhaps months.

Something will trigger an abusive incident. This assault may be physical, psychological, or sexual. A period of calm follows. This is often called the "honeymoon phase." The abuser may buy his/her partner gifts or lavish attention on him/her, often feeling sorry for what has happened.
Over time, the above cycle changes. More small incidents will occur, tension will increase, and the cycle will begin again. Both partners want to believe incidents of abuse will not repeat themselves, but they usually do.

Although abuse most often happens as part of a cycle, some victims never experience a cycle or pattern. Some abusive incidents happen without provocation, warning, or buildup, and there may be no periods of calm. The abuser may show no remorse. In other cases, tension is always present.

If you feel like you are stuck in a cycle of abuse, please get help today.